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Be Like The Peace Lilly

AI generated image of a Japanese Peace Lilly sitting on a shelf in the sunshine. Generated by Microsoft Co-pilot
AI generated image of a Japanese Peace Lilly sitting on a shelf in the sunshine. Generated by Microsoft Co-pilot

I want to introduce you to something special. This is Pat. Pat is my Peace Lilly. She is named after one of my mentors and a special teacher in massage. I took a long time to name this Lilly because I killed the last one. I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t put it in the right conditions to grow.

Pat has been with me for 3 years now. In our last massage room Pat flowered once, then spent the rest of her time looking spindly. I watered her, put her in light and even bought special food for her. But she never really thrived.

When we moved office, I put Pat onto a shady shelf. I watered her once a week or once every other week. And she started to green up again and put out new growth. She even flowered again.

About a month ago, Pat started to look yellow and droopy again. More water. Nope. More food. Nope. I hit up Dr Google (I know you’ve done it when you’re feeling unwell too) and I found an article. It labelled Peace Lilies as “Drama Queens”. If you don’t get the conditions right, they’ll just get all upset with you.

Well, I moved Pat into my massage room – it’s quite dark, and while I water her every other week, I give her a spray with a water bottle every day, sometimes twice a day. Her leaves are large and green and glossy. Right now, there are two flowers and there’s even pups growing around her. I found the right conditions for Pat, and she started to thrive.

When I was younger, I used to use the term “Drama Queen” to describe those who I felt were being too dramatic. Within the world of the public service, we’d be told to “suck it up”, “take a teaspoon of cement and harden up”, and “stop being such a drama queen.” Sometimes we do just have to suck things up. Perhaps we’re offered more “things” to try to brighten things up.

Perhaps within our internal heath we need to find specific nutrients because our gut flora is unique to us. What we can and can’t tolerate is unique to us. What we enjoy is unique to us.

The activities you enjoy are made better by good people who want to see you grow, rather than see you as competition that must be beaten. I’ve got no problems with losing out to the better person, but those who set out not just to win, but to beat … that’s not healthy for anyone.

I do have an altruistic mindset though – and how much better would things be if we were planted in the right environment to thrive.

Pat, the Peace Lilly, has a specific set of skills and she thrives in a particular environment. In her unspoken language, she told me where she would grow best, and I eventually listened to her.

The last couple of years have been really big years. Many of you have shared with me of your challenges and massive life changes. Changing work, changing family, changing home, leaving activities that no longer served you, starting new ones that filled you with joy. Working towards goals and tilling the soil to help you to thrive.

We’re privileged to be a part of that journey with you.

Whether you thrive on constant pressure or are best left to plod along. Whether you want to win the race or just finish it and enjoy it.

May you find the best place where you too can grow.

You are not a drama queen. Be like the Peace Lilly.

Husband | Father | Massage Guy

David Clayton is the Principal Remedial Therapist at Myomasters Massage located in Hope Valley in the north east of Adelaide.  He has a passion for supporting humans to live the lives they were to born to live using massage and soft tissue therapies.  He has a particular interest in assisting people to recover from stress, anxiety and trauma using compassionate and nurturing touch.